How many sighs, of so many different colors.
The gold ones that float to the top in relief, in satisfaction, in the blessing that has been you're purgatorial life.
I've been waiting.... I've been waiting... I've been waiting so long....
I'm not even sure,
What,
I
have
been
waiting
for....
Is... this... it.
How many more sighs of blue grey
Sinking down
Maybe yesterday was my apocalypse. Today my 2012. Cleaning out my wounds with secret bathroom tears. Whispering to the ant on the sink "why? why? we didn't even try..."
Hoping he'd carry away my burdens. Why? Why? We didn't even try.
Trying to feel angry. Trying to feel betrayed. Trying to feel what you're supposed to feel when things just fall away.
Rising out of me, bubbling, bubbling... then falling flat. Swept under the door with sighs of blue and gray.
Wanting to yell and scream "what have you done to me?!!"
Opening my mouth, ready for steam...
Calling out...
Please, mom, can I stay?
And so I lay here in a child's bed, thinking of another place I'd rather be instead, another place I'd rather lay my head, another way for my soul to be fed...
Picking at the ribbons that keep me to you, unearthing the anchor that kept you at my bay.
